I don't know how many other jobs have kids swear at you and tell you that you are unfair and a bad person.
It's really getting to my soul. I think I just have to ignore it and move past it.
I am extremely weak as a person.
Monday, 24 March 2014
Friday, 21 March 2014
How I feel as a teacher
The young queen, she fixed him with an arrogant eye
She said, "You won't understand, and you may as well not try"
But her face was a child's, and he thought she would cry
But she closed herself up like a fan.
And she said, "I've swallowed a secret burning thread
It cuts me inside, and often I've bled"
He laid his hand then on top of her head
And he bowed her down to the ground.
"Tell me how hungry are you? How weak you must feel
As you are living here alone, and you are never revealed
But I won't march again on your battlefield"
And he took her to the window to see.
And the sun, it was gold, though the sky, it was gray
And she wanted more than she ever could say
But she knew how it frightened her, and she turned away
And would not look at his face again.
She said, "You won't understand, and you may as well not try"
But her face was a child's, and he thought she would cry
But she closed herself up like a fan.
And she said, "I've swallowed a secret burning thread
It cuts me inside, and often I've bled"
He laid his hand then on top of her head
And he bowed her down to the ground.
"Tell me how hungry are you? How weak you must feel
As you are living here alone, and you are never revealed
But I won't march again on your battlefield"
And he took her to the window to see.
And the sun, it was gold, though the sky, it was gray
And she wanted more than she ever could say
But she knew how it frightened her, and she turned away
And would not look at his face again.
I can leave.
I can leave when you want me to
I can be just a thought
A memory that you love
I can be just the light on the dark of our pictures
Just words that we shared
And all of our places
I can be an old song that makes you cry
I can be the card that you find
At the bottom of your drawer
That you couldn't throw away
But had nowhere to live
It's Friday, Friday... Friday...
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you solve the problem of Year 8 boys?
Today I went super strict on the Year 8 boys and they were all very upset. The whole way through they paid attention, then towards the end they started getting super upset.
My head teacher supported me though. I ended up crying in the staffroom for a few minutes. It was pretty bad, but everyone just seemed to be comforting.
My worst fear is that the other staff will dislike me I guess. It's not that I'm not being genuine, I am, but I am really cautious not to offend anyone. I'm honestly trying my best not to inconvenience anyone, but I understand sometimes things can get hectic and people can get unhappy.
Year 11 was insane. One girl threatened the other kids, then told me they were bullying her. I wasn't sure if she was being serious, but she definitely had emotional issues, which to me did indicate that she had been bullied.
I felt really disappointed in Year 11. I know they were being nice to my face, and secretly behind my back they probably talk about me negatively, but I enjoy chatting to them and telling them random facts about how to rent a house etc. I know it's useful for them because they will be moving out eventually.
They looked at me and said, "Do you like being in Griffith now?" to me at the end of it all.
The fact is yes I do.
I find most of the kids lie all the time to me, and they bully each other, and they probably hate me, but some part of me still really cares about them. I know there are reasons that they act the way they do.
The great thing is I know people who were bullies in high school who completely changed when they were older.
I will pray for these kids that their hearts will change.
How do you solve the problem of Year 8 boys?
Today I went super strict on the Year 8 boys and they were all very upset. The whole way through they paid attention, then towards the end they started getting super upset.
My head teacher supported me though. I ended up crying in the staffroom for a few minutes. It was pretty bad, but everyone just seemed to be comforting.
My worst fear is that the other staff will dislike me I guess. It's not that I'm not being genuine, I am, but I am really cautious not to offend anyone. I'm honestly trying my best not to inconvenience anyone, but I understand sometimes things can get hectic and people can get unhappy.
Year 11 was insane. One girl threatened the other kids, then told me they were bullying her. I wasn't sure if she was being serious, but she definitely had emotional issues, which to me did indicate that she had been bullied.
I felt really disappointed in Year 11. I know they were being nice to my face, and secretly behind my back they probably talk about me negatively, but I enjoy chatting to them and telling them random facts about how to rent a house etc. I know it's useful for them because they will be moving out eventually.
They looked at me and said, "Do you like being in Griffith now?" to me at the end of it all.
The fact is yes I do.
I find most of the kids lie all the time to me, and they bully each other, and they probably hate me, but some part of me still really cares about them. I know there are reasons that they act the way they do.
The great thing is I know people who were bullies in high school who completely changed when they were older.
I will pray for these kids that their hearts will change.
Thursday, 20 March 2014
Today I am facing my most feared class
I woke up at 5am today unable to sleep. The Year 8 boys, the top class, are so difficult.
The problem is that every boy in that class is incredibly smart, but they seem bent on using that power for evil.
At least the bottom class is a lot worse at lying. The top class however, can lie through their teeth about anything and I'll believe them. It's incredibly frustrating.
One boy I will say, "Sit down now." And he will go "I'm very sorry miss, I'm right on my way, I apologise."
Then he will go and find some broken beaker and bring it to me and say, "Look I found a broken beaker Miss."
And I will say, "Thank you, sit down now." And he will wander off and do something else helpful.
I know he knows exactly what he is doing. He is a very bright boy.
He is the least of my worries. The others will look at me with full sincerity and apologise, but they will keep doing the action.
Today I will succeed. TODAY!
Or I will never get any sleep over the weekend...
The problem is that every boy in that class is incredibly smart, but they seem bent on using that power for evil.
At least the bottom class is a lot worse at lying. The top class however, can lie through their teeth about anything and I'll believe them. It's incredibly frustrating.
One boy I will say, "Sit down now." And he will go "I'm very sorry miss, I'm right on my way, I apologise."
Then he will go and find some broken beaker and bring it to me and say, "Look I found a broken beaker Miss."
And I will say, "Thank you, sit down now." And he will wander off and do something else helpful.
I know he knows exactly what he is doing. He is a very bright boy.
He is the least of my worries. The others will look at me with full sincerity and apologise, but they will keep doing the action.
Today I will succeed. TODAY!
Or I will never get any sleep over the weekend...
Wednesday, 19 March 2014
Further seems forever
This week feels like it's lasting forever!
I feel like in front of teachers and kids I'm trying to be very bland. Bland and quiet.
Today I walked into my lowest year 8 class and they were terrified of me. They all said, "Be quiet! Or she'll send you to Miss Jobe!" and they all went quiet and looked at me with terror. One of them said, "She is really scary."
Frankly, most of the time I don't even yell at kids. I just stare at them, and they get really freaked out because I'm not saying anything, and they start doing the right thing.
Year 10 was very good as well. They kept talking when I was talking at the beginning, but I sent one boy out and the others were better after a while.
I went around making the kids do the work. They may start to resent me after a while.
Oh well. Bottom level Year 10 class.
I feel like in front of teachers and kids I'm trying to be very bland. Bland and quiet.
Today I walked into my lowest year 8 class and they were terrified of me. They all said, "Be quiet! Or she'll send you to Miss Jobe!" and they all went quiet and looked at me with terror. One of them said, "She is really scary."
Frankly, most of the time I don't even yell at kids. I just stare at them, and they get really freaked out because I'm not saying anything, and they start doing the right thing.
Year 10 was very good as well. They kept talking when I was talking at the beginning, but I sent one boy out and the others were better after a while.
I went around making the kids do the work. They may start to resent me after a while.
Oh well. Bottom level Year 10 class.
Mary-Kate and Ashley
(Names are changed)
I teach these two Year 7 classes, 7a and 7b. I've already met all the kids in 7a. There was a kid called Cameron, who was quite helpful.
I had to take all the Year 7 boys because the girls were getting vaccinations. All of a sudden there was another boy called Jake, who looked kind of like Cameron, but not quite. I kept getting them mixed up, and when I asked Cameron, "Are you related?" he said no.
Today I had Jake in my Year 7b class for the first time. Jake was really chatty and wasn't doing his work quietly like the other kids.
I was wandering through the school and I bumped into either Cameron or Jake. I said to him, "Are you Cameron or Jake?"
The boy smiled and said, "Cameron!" and I could instantly tell, because he didn't have a mischievous grin like he was getting up to evil.
I said to him, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I mix you up with Jake."
"That's because we're identical twins!" said Cody, "Don't worry about it."
Does this mean that there is actually a good twin and a bad twin? Haha. It's such a strange Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing to observe.
I teach these two Year 7 classes, 7a and 7b. I've already met all the kids in 7a. There was a kid called Cameron, who was quite helpful.
I had to take all the Year 7 boys because the girls were getting vaccinations. All of a sudden there was another boy called Jake, who looked kind of like Cameron, but not quite. I kept getting them mixed up, and when I asked Cameron, "Are you related?" he said no.
Today I had Jake in my Year 7b class for the first time. Jake was really chatty and wasn't doing his work quietly like the other kids.
I was wandering through the school and I bumped into either Cameron or Jake. I said to him, "Are you Cameron or Jake?"
The boy smiled and said, "Cameron!" and I could instantly tell, because he didn't have a mischievous grin like he was getting up to evil.
I said to him, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I mix you up with Jake."
"That's because we're identical twins!" said Cody, "Don't worry about it."
Does this mean that there is actually a good twin and a bad twin? Haha. It's such a strange Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing to observe.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
When I survey the wondrous class
Today I surveyed the children. It gave me a lot of insight into their personality.
The Year 8a Boys seem to be reluctant to fill out surveys. When you ask them to write "their best piece of writing" possible, most of them wrote acrostic poems, some of them wrote letters, some of them didn't write at all. I guess this shows they're not very confident at writing, or they're just being stubborn.
The Year 7 kids were wonderful to survey. One boy drew a picture of himself as Superman and proudly told me from the back of the class. The boys at the back of the class are very sweet. The boys on the other back of the class are huge fans of soccer. They kept talking while I was speaking, and in general were quite disruptive. One of the girls wrote for the question "What are you proud of?" that she was proud that she got DUX in Year 6. I wonder whether how her writing will develop through the year.
The Year 11 kids were very amused by the questions. Of course the survey was a bit juvenile for them, but they filled it out anyway. One kid wrote on his survey, "I kissed Katy Perry." I asked him if that's why she wrote a song called "I kissed a girl and I liked it."
Year 10. I didn't survey them, because they were basically hell on earth today. Last lesson they were wonderful and polite, and this lesson this one boy breezes in, turns over tables, rips up sheets, and chucks a book out of the room. I sent him to the head teacher, but it was crazy. The girls really wanted to do work but it was hard with the boys just doing as they please. The lesson before they were so good! What went wrong. Alas.
I really do not want to give up on any of the kids though, or label any of them negatively. I want to view them all positively and work hard and building relationships with them before it's too late.
I think I will send them out with a note, because when they are sent out they are very unclear about what they are supposed to do.
I wish I could only teach Year 7 classes, they are the sweetest children.
The Year 8a Boys seem to be reluctant to fill out surveys. When you ask them to write "their best piece of writing" possible, most of them wrote acrostic poems, some of them wrote letters, some of them didn't write at all. I guess this shows they're not very confident at writing, or they're just being stubborn.
The Year 7 kids were wonderful to survey. One boy drew a picture of himself as Superman and proudly told me from the back of the class. The boys at the back of the class are very sweet. The boys on the other back of the class are huge fans of soccer. They kept talking while I was speaking, and in general were quite disruptive. One of the girls wrote for the question "What are you proud of?" that she was proud that she got DUX in Year 6. I wonder whether how her writing will develop through the year.
The Year 11 kids were very amused by the questions. Of course the survey was a bit juvenile for them, but they filled it out anyway. One kid wrote on his survey, "I kissed Katy Perry." I asked him if that's why she wrote a song called "I kissed a girl and I liked it."
Year 10. I didn't survey them, because they were basically hell on earth today. Last lesson they were wonderful and polite, and this lesson this one boy breezes in, turns over tables, rips up sheets, and chucks a book out of the room. I sent him to the head teacher, but it was crazy. The girls really wanted to do work but it was hard with the boys just doing as they please. The lesson before they were so good! What went wrong. Alas.
I really do not want to give up on any of the kids though, or label any of them negatively. I want to view them all positively and work hard and building relationships with them before it's too late.
I think I will send them out with a note, because when they are sent out they are very unclear about what they are supposed to do.
I wish I could only teach Year 7 classes, they are the sweetest children.
This is my first year
I have finally become a teacher, after much sweat and tears. I always said when I got my first job I would be too relieved to be sad, but I've found that new things come with new problems.
Year 7: I have pre-set lesson plans, and most of the class are very sweet so this should be fine. I will see how it progresses in the future. The girls have come up to me and told me their names, and so it is hard now to forget them. They often wave to me from across the quad and say "Hello miss!" and it's hard not to like children like that.
Year 8: I have the top class and the bottom class. This has resulted in a very strange divide. I find that the bottom class is better than the top class. Perhaps I had such bad expectations of the bottom class that it made me have low expectations of them. Or maybe they will get worse in the future. One of the boys in the top class got upset because I sent him out, and he felt like his last teacher hated him. He told his mum that he thought having a new teacher would be a new chance for him. How unlucky that he got chosen to be kicked out! He was actually okay, but he was the first one I saw when I was on the end of my patience with that class.
One kid wrote "I went to a river. There was an old man who offered me two lollies. I ate them."
Year 10: These guys worked well and were very good, but the other teacher told me they will soon turn into crazy kids that jump over tables. Hopefully not.
Year 11: I was told that these kids don't want to work, but they did the work pretty well. Six of the boys didn't, and they looked at me like I was crazy for expecting them to.
Year 7: I have pre-set lesson plans, and most of the class are very sweet so this should be fine. I will see how it progresses in the future. The girls have come up to me and told me their names, and so it is hard now to forget them. They often wave to me from across the quad and say "Hello miss!" and it's hard not to like children like that.
Year 8: I have the top class and the bottom class. This has resulted in a very strange divide. I find that the bottom class is better than the top class. Perhaps I had such bad expectations of the bottom class that it made me have low expectations of them. Or maybe they will get worse in the future. One of the boys in the top class got upset because I sent him out, and he felt like his last teacher hated him. He told his mum that he thought having a new teacher would be a new chance for him. How unlucky that he got chosen to be kicked out! He was actually okay, but he was the first one I saw when I was on the end of my patience with that class.
One kid wrote "I went to a river. There was an old man who offered me two lollies. I ate them."
Year 10: These guys worked well and were very good, but the other teacher told me they will soon turn into crazy kids that jump over tables. Hopefully not.
Year 11: I was told that these kids don't want to work, but they did the work pretty well. Six of the boys didn't, and they looked at me like I was crazy for expecting them to.
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